Don’t Worry, It’s Just a Baby: Sensible Advice for Raising Children

Front cover of the book, by Keith G. Johnson. A smiling baby sits in a car seat on the bottom shelf of an open refrigerator, under a hanging mobile.

Sensible Advice for Raising Children

Coming soon

New parents get plenty of unsolicited advice. Here’s some they’re unlikely to have heard before.

Parenthood—like most things—is largely a matter of technique.

Author Keith G. Johnson offers straightforward advice from birth through adolescence, addressing questions other professionals insist on overcomplicating. Though childless and without any specialized training, Johnson is right about these kinds of things at least 80% of the time.

Protecting a child from schoolyard bullies starts early. Creatine mixes easily into baby formula.

A baby in teddy-bear pajamas sits on the kitchen counter, drinking from a bottle and flexing one arm, beside a large tub labeled Creatine.

“An unusually confident set of opinions”

— The Alderbridge Review

At two, the child learns about ten words each day. Ten is not many and shouldn’t be squandered on farm animals.

A father sitting on the living-room rug holds up a socket wrench and points at it. Beside him, a toddler rests its chin in its hands. Tools are laid out on a towel, and a basket of toy farm animals sits untouched.

Despite the obvious benefits, there’s nothing more uncouth than a toddler on a leash. Keep the benefits and lose the dirty looks by using fishing line. It’s strong, nearly invisible, and comes on a convenient reel.

A mother on a park bench reads a magazine while holding a fishing rod. Its nearly invisible line runs across the grass to a toddler at the edge of a pond.

“The author has not allowed inexperience to limit his conclusions.”

— The Alderbridge Review

A teenager who slams doors needs a door that cannot be slammed. Saloon doors are inexpensive and can be installed in an afternoon.

A scowling teenage boy stands with his arms crossed in his bedroom doorway, which is fitted with swinging saloon doors.

“It’s hard to believe how people raised kids before I wrote this book.”

— Keith G. Johnson, author of this book

About the Author

Keith G. Johnson has watched a great many people raise children, mostly from across restaurants, and has never kept an opinion to himself. He also brings firsthand experience to the subject, having once been a child. He lives in Austin, Texas, with his misbehaving dog, Recon.

Keith G. Johnson smiles while holding a stack of pages. His dog, Recon, has the corner of the stack in his mouth.
Back cover of the book, with the description, two endorsements and a barcode.

Available soon wherever sensible advice is sold.